When you’re driving 350 plus miles trying to make it in time for that Thanksgiving dinner, but your engine dies in the middle of the busiest highway, and there is no way you can get out of your car because of the fast, nonstop traffic on both the right and left lanes not to mention two eighteen- wheeler trucks behind you, you realize this Thanksgiving could be your last day on earth.

“Get out of the car!” hollered one driver hauling a car.

“Do not get out of the car! Don’t you see the cars are moving very fast?” cries out my son who was the one on the wheels.

“But we will be run over here by those eighteen- wheeler trucks if we do not get out?” I shut back.

“I called 911. Let’s wait!” he shouts back.

I can’t believe how things happen so quickly. Just a few hours ago, we woke up content that we were able to spend time together visiting Downtown, Austin. We left the city with memories of the greenery of South Congress, the Lady Bird Lake, the Lady Bird Wildflowers, the House of Korea, the Driskill Unbound… and here we are – at the brink of death!

“You’ve got to get out of your car, guys!” a husky-looking guy shouted.

Petrified, I just looked at him hoping he would offer help.

Despite the traffic, this guy suddenly parked right in front of our car. He got out, and walked closer to our car yelling that we get out of our car.

“Did you want me to get you out of here?”

“Please,” was all I can say.

These guys looked like some tough guys from some tough neighborhood. The one who approached my son. looked muscular and husky and the other looked serious and unfriendly. Both had blood-shot eyes, and I thought that they looked like those guys from some action movies who take advantage of people in distress to make money.

As soon as we agreed that they help us, the bigger guy opened the trunk of his car and brought out a rolled tow trap. He signaled to his companion to attach it to our car. Then, while the one guy put up a hand signal to slow the traffic on the right lanes, the other one came closer to give my son some instructions.

“Put your gear on neutral, and just follow me slowly. I will take you to the nearest gasoline station,” he said.

Nervous but compliant, my son just nodded his head. The guys started his truck, and we followed along. I could not see the left lanes for an eighteen-wheeler was towering above us. We slowed the traffic on the right, and I could hear my son panicking every time the tow truck forcibly accelerates our car.

When we finally reached the Gasoline station, I breathed a sigh of relief. The guys unstrapped the car and said, “You’re safe here. When that happens again, remember to leave your car right away. You can be run over by those trucks.”

“Yes,” we nodded in agreement.

“Thank you so much for helping us.”

Then he reiterated, “You get out of the car right away. You see, you can buy a new car, but you can’t – pointing at my son, replace him.”

Feeling very emotional, I looked at my son who came out- of- state to spend this few days with us, and I wanted to hug the guy for saying those words. Sometimes, you do not think about it until somebody points it out to you. It’s true that we could have been killed had we stayed in the car longer.

“How much do we owe you, sir,” I asked the guy.

“No, we just wanted you to be safe. Bye now,” and away they went.

In the shock of the moment, we forgot to ask their names. They refused to accept any payment. Their intention was sincere and pure: to rescue us from danger.

Relieved that we were out of harms way, I just sat in the car staring at space. A feeling of remorse was gnawing at me. I prejudged those two guys, and I was very ashamed of myself. I will forever be indebted to them whose intentions were sincere and whose deeds I can not repay.

I may not meet those two guys again, but I thank them for teaching me to check my heart and not judge others according to how they look. Those guys taught me to extend help without asking something in return. They showed me kindness in action. Most of all, they showed me there is still so much good in humanity.

I have never had a more meaningful thanksgiving.

”

You were a straight A student. You did your best to earn a scholarship and get into that prestigious institution of higher learning. You worked harder to graduate with flying colors. All your effort paid off because, in the end, you get that “corporate” job you have always dreamt about. Then, the unexpected happens, you get fired from your job. What are you supposed to do?

“Life is not fair” is the first lesson you learn from getting fired unexpectedly. You may have been the best student, the envy of your contemporaries, the most promising graduate of a prestigious university, but you are not spared from “job cuts” enforced by the ‘powers-that-be’. When you think that life is never fair, you have this level of acceptance of your predicament that will not cause you extreme anxiety or mental breakdown. Bearing in mind that life is never fair becomes a defense mechanism in that it shields you from further mental exhaustion. It is stressful enough to think that losing your job means you will not be able to pay your rent, your bills, your insurance, et cetera. It will even be more exhausting to keep asking yourself all the ‘whys.’ So, embark on the next journey by heeding to Oscar Wilde’s words and taking note of the second clause: “Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is.”

“Less is more” is another lesson you will learn from a job loss. After college, you want to pursue the “good life”. You leave the old, boring, provincial town to find a corporate job in bigger, more sophisticated world of the city. You rent an apartment, buy your car, pay your own bills and relish your independence. As a young professional, you are conscious about your physical and mental health, and you exhaust all the possible avenues in the city to stay fit and healthy. You go the gym, subscribe to health magazines, learn a new language, practice yoga, and the like. And you continue dreaming of a more ‘fulfilling’ life by embarking on traveling the world. So you start listing those touristy places you plan on visiting. All these dreams of self-improvement, independence, and travel depended on your having a job.

Losing your source of income means reevaluating all your plans that involve money. You will have to prioritize your needs over wants. Your bills come first – food, rent, utilities, transportation, phone, internet. You will probably have to stop paying for gym and yoga classes and start running by the park instead. You will probably need to make your own coffee instead of frequenting Starbucks. You will probably just drive to National Parks in your state and cross out those exciting places in the world you have on your bucket list. And when the worst case scenario happens that you can no longer pay your apartment, you might probably need to go back home and live with your parents. Having no source of income means tapping your creativity to adjust and survive.

You are lucky if you are able to find another job right after losing your corporate position. The reality however is that you might not be able to find another corporate job as easily, so be prepared to settle for a non-corporate job if you do not have enough savings for basic necessities. Sometimes, you need to put aside your idealism and ego. When reality requires common sense or pragmatism, you’ve got to heed to it. You would rather have a less ideal job to keep paying your food and phone bill, than to stay idle. Besides, anything to get out of the rut helps you maintain a good mental health. So, get up and find that less ideal job.

“When the going gets tough, the tough gets going,” so goes somebody’s admonition. It is natural to feel upset and even angry when you get cut from your job. Young professionals, for instance, who are still starting their careers are at a stage in life where they want to prove themselves because they know that this is the way to keep one’s job. So, getting terminated especially on an unjustifiable ground causes so much frustration. This frustration can turn into depression if the person does not fight it. “What am I going to do?” you ask. I say, “Do not brood over your loss. Get up and start reconnecting. Think about a few of the people who care about you – a grandmother, a brother, a close friend, a neighbor, etc. Connect with them and do not hesitate to ask for some advice or even financial help. And I understand that our pride sometimes prevents us from asking or receiving help. Toughen up by humbly accepting help from others. You will be surprised at the kindness and generosity of those around you. There will always be a fellow human being willing to ease your pain.

Finally, “Strive to be happy,” says a line in Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata”. True happiness does not come from having all the material things you need. It does not come from recognition and prestige. It does not come from having a well-paying job. Happiness comes from being content with living a simple life, with having good physical and mental health, with having some connections with nature and fellow human beings. You determine your happiness – your inner peace. So, no matter the circumstances, find that silver lining each day.

If the key could tell a story, it would begin with fear. 
Of getting diagnosed with PMLBCL 
Of needing to undergo Chemotherapy six days each cycle of six 
Of receiving R-EPOCH and not sure if it will work.  

Then it would sum up a cancer patient's journey this way:
 
 February was total confusion, and March was Turbo-charged stress 
 April was descent into Hades, and May was fear and elation, 
 June was a lull and a doldrum, and July is supposed to be hope and jubilation.
 This cancer road is long, and it’s unsure when the son stops treading this on.

When the wheel of life refuses to turn back up
And you feel there is no way out,
And your only recourse is to bow down and whisper, “God…”
You’ll be surprised at God’s quick response.  

“Sorry to hear about your son’s condition,
But not to worry, we are here all the way.
Take him to ER in MD Anderson A-S-A-P!
And here is the key to the condo for you all to stay.” 

How did we merit such benevolence and generosity?
To a luxury condo only the wealthy can afford to stay!
“Give us this day our daily bread!  Don’t we all pray this every day?
So, trust God who provides, thank Him not us!” 

A week, a month, four months  plus– we held on to the key:
The key that made us relish the glorious sun everyday
The key that showed us the magnificent city skyline
The key that directed our steps to the tall trees and green grass of Hermann Park! 

It’s the key to confronting the tough realities of life.
It’s the key to questioning where we’ve gone wrong in the past.
It’s the key that made us seek understanding and forgiveness.
It’s the key that healed our weeping souls and wounded hearts.

And this key opened a myriad of thoughts unbound:
That FAITH in humanity is as resilient as the Bayou City
That HOPE is as concrete as the Mosaic North Condominiums 
That LOVE is as alive as the fastest lane of the South Freeway.

Turned in to the owner, this key will remain a treasure,
For as we traverse life with all its twists and turns
We shall tell the story of how a golden, magical key
Has made light the burden of a dreaded malady.

“Thank you,” the only words we could say.
She pulled me close to her heart; 
He shook my hubby’s hands tight.
We handed them their key of a lifetime memory.



 

The most precious person I owe my life from was the same person who planted the seed of faith in my heart. No, she did not sit me down as a child and had me listen to her preaching. She simply brought me to church on Sunday mornings. By taking me to the house of God, my mother introduced me to faith – faith in what is good and true, faith in fellow human beings, and most importantly, faith in the Creator of the Universe. I thank my mother for introducing me to the faith, without which, I would have probably never gotten back up those many times I have stumbled in life.

When I decided to leave home and worked on the other side of the globe, I carried with me that seed of faith in humanity and God. I prayed that I would meet people who would help me nurture this faith. My prayer was answered. I’ve met women of all walks of life who have, in one way or another, drawn me closer to God. I remember these women and the life lessons I learned from them regardless of the length of time I’ve gotten to know them.

The Adviser

Married to a Vietnam War veteran and a long time employee at one of the local high schools, this lady is a very dedicated parishioner at her church. Her strong faith in God is manifested in her dedication to service for others. For those many years I’ve known her, she has been a volunteer worker at a food bank, at the downtown’s soup kitchen, at the local center for the homeless. She donates food, money, and clothes to those who need them.

Kind and generous, she would often invite me and my family to Sunday breakfasts and dinners at her home especially during Thanksgiving, St. Patrick’s Day, Christmas, etc. She and her husband became our closest “family.” They would serve as our advisers in both personal and professional matters. They supported us those years my own children were growing up.

The History Teacher

Immigrating from South Africa, this lady spoke English, French, and Arabic. She was a strong, independent woman. After the passing of her husband, she left all her children in Johannesburg to come live in the United States. She worked as a jeweler in New Orleans until she retired. At the time I met her, she was living by herself at Casa de Amigo apartments. Every Saturday when I get the chance, I visit her to check if she needed me to ran errands for her. Most of the time however, we simply sit down together, and I listen to her stories about her experiences living in South Africa, Australia, the Great Britain, France, Turkey, and the like. She is a well-traveled woman who lived through World War I and World War II. She grew to witness how the world has metamorphosed from the dark, devastating effects of two world wars to the much better and semi-peaceful world of today. She was a living history book, and I learned a lot from her.

The Antique Seller

I had gotten to know this person just one time as her customer. I bought a leather tote bag from her for a hundred bucks. When I was at her store, the bag looked new. I did not notice any damage at all, but when I brought the bag home, I realized some slight damage on one side of the bag. In retrospect, perhaps it was the dim lighting at her antique store that made me not recognize the flaw. Anyhow, I decided to return the bag a few days later. The lady did not ask why I was returning it. With a smile on her face and gentleness in her voice, she simply said, “It’s okay. You may return it.”

This lady taught me that grace and kindness is the way to customer satisfaction.

The Visitor

Introduced by a friend, this lady came down from Michigan not only to visit our small border town but to buy some medicines she claimed were prized so exorbitantly up north. She said that the prices of her medicines she buys in her state are much cheaper buys down here by the border. This is the reason flew in here.

At the time she came to town, we were in the process of moving in to a new house. We did not have an extra bed nor sofa available for her. I thought that it would be better for her to stay in a hotel for a night, but she chose to stay with us. She was willing to sleep on the floor with just a mat on it. She sounded very simple and practical. I thought that maybe if I were in her place, I would go to a hotel even if it meant I would charge my credit card. But she did not do what I would have done. She wanted to stay and spend time with us. She treated us kindly like her family.

Later, when she left town, I learned that she was a retired doctor and came from a prominent, wealthy family in East Asia and that she was living by herself up north. I thank this woman for teaching me to value connecting with other people even if you do not know them. I felt embarrassed to have thought that sleeping on the floor was below me. This woman could afford a five star hotel, but she chose to stay in my house to connect with me. She put into action Suze Orman’s admonition to many: “People first, then money, then things.”

The Preacher

This proper, kind lady came knocking at my door on one Saturday morning in the summer of 2011. She kindly asked me if I had time to spare for a short sharing. It was Saturday morning, and I usually hesitate to let people of other faiths come to my house and preach. But for whatever reason, I was drawn to this lady’s gentleness, so I caught myself allowing her to come in, but I told her upfront that I was Catholic.

“I could see that,” she replied as she looked around my living room and saw a crucifix hanging on the wall, a rosary and a small statue of the Blessed Mother by the center table flanked by Pope Benedict’s picture. She sat down and said a little prayer. Then she asked if she could read some topics that might be of interest to me. I chose the topic about how Hitler persecuted the Jehovah’s Witnesses during WWII. It sounded like a review of the history topic I’ve read in the past.

She began by showing me a picture of Hitler and the Pope. She went on to explain how the pope has helped Hitler in his evil scheme to discriminate some groups including the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I started to protest because I thought that the Catholic church did not condone Hitler’s agenda let alone supported him. But I could not give her some historical facts that could convince her of my claim. So, I stopped and listened to her instead.

After about twenty minutes, she said goodbye and left.

If what this JW preacher said was true about the pope during the time of Hitler, I need to read more about what the Catholic church did during WWII. In my mind, I thought the church did its part to shield people from the cruelty of the oppressor, but I felt ashamed of my lack of knowledge about what the Catholic church or the pope did at that time that I was not able to rebut the claims the preacher made.

This JW preacher did little to change my mind about my faith as a Catholic. She challenged me to know more about the leaders of my church, the roles they did during the crucial moments in history, and to continue reading about the teachings of the Catholic church.

If anything, this JW preacher made me a more serious Catholic.

The Silent Benefactor

Even though she was almost 90 years old, this indefatigable woman had been making the best veggie rolls, empanada, and Pancit Bihon (noodles) for years. Most of the time, families order these from her, but sometimes she makes them to donate during community affairs.

Immigrating to North America at an older age, this lady used her cooking skills to generate some income and be able to sustain herself. She told me one time that this side hussle supplemented whatever social security money she had. She said, “It’s enough to cover my needs. Whatever is extra I save for somebody.”

When she passed away, her family donated most of her stuff to Goodwill and some, to the old country. The things that were left behind were some pictures, old bags, receipts, and letters. In one of the letters, I got to learn that she was sending money to somebody who is learning to become a priest. I now understand who she was referring to when she told me that whatever she saved from her sales go to somebody.

This woman taught me that as long as we are alive and able, we ought to extend help to those needing it. Age is no excuse for not doing more. This woman showed me how, to the very end of her life, intentional act of giving to those wanting to serve God, is something to consider.

The Community Organizer

Every November, this lady calls some members of her small community to come together and participate in the Fall Festival at the local church. Participating means getting involved in fund raising for the church. She would mobilize her members to prepare barbecue, pancit, and egg rolls to be sold during the festival. Her husband would also organize a group to put up the booth.

I don’t know how she does it, but she truly has a knack for putting people together to work for a cause. Her humility and charity, her easy-going personality and friendliness, and her dedication and creativity motivate others to do the same.

I learned from this person to be the hand, eyes, and feet of the Lord. She has used per people skills and connections to enable others to build a community by letting them share their time and resources.

There will be more women I’ll be meeting along my life’s journey, but these women have modeled to me how it is to live in charity and grace.

I like how Fr. Paul, our visiting priest, explains today’s gospel reading (Mark 9:2-10). He starts off asking the congregation, “What did you do this morning to transform your face?” He goes on to explain that because of our desire to transform our faces, we have sustained these multi-dollar companies who would sell us products that would conceal, change, or transform how we physically look!

On Ash Wednesday, he explains, we wear Christ’s cross on our forehead which is the one good face transformation Christians do every year. He says that by doing this, we remember Christ everyday especially during Lent, and let Him transform us. But to get transformed, he says, we need to recognize three storms in our life that may either block or allow change to happen.

“The Storm of Fornication is the first type of storm in our life,” says Fr. Paul. He explains that this storm refers to our intimate desires – not just sexual but also all other worldly things we want. He says that for transformation to take place, we need to identify hidden desires that we need to curb such as “overworking for the love of money,” “overbuying goods,” etc.

The Storm of Blasphemy is the second type of storm, according to Fr. Paul. He cites the events of the past three years that ignited anger and fear among people. He mentions the war between Ukraine and Russia, the war Between Israel and Gaza, and the many more ordinary circumstances when we feel anger toward others. He says that during this Lent, we try to observe silence by not being carried away by this strong emotion of anger and hate. We try to confront lies and untruths in a way that we do not hurt others.

The third storm, according to Fr. Paul, is the Storm of Being Directionless. He says that this is the summation of not knowing what we need to do and where we are going. What is the purpose of doing what we are doing? He then says that during Lent, we need to pause a while and reflect.

All in all, Fr. Paul concludes that to get transformed during Lent, we need to recognize and overcome those storms that come our way. He says that those storms in our lives come not as punishments but as ways to transform us in ways that conform to what Christ wants us to become.

Sitting down in the middle pew at church, I noticed the young servers and Fr. Paul- the new pastor- standing by the door waiting for the entrance song to begin as they do the procession. I do not usually pay attention to the procession, but this new, lanky, old-bearded priest being followed by four little black-haired boys one-third of his height was a site to behold. And it is enough to ignite my curiosity about how the new priest will officiate the mass.

After the entrance hymn, Fr. Paul goes near the edge of the altar and introduces the readings today – the 29th Week of the Ordinary Time. Then in a clear and loud voice, he does the opening prayer.

After the first and second readings, the congregation rise for the reading of the gospel. Fr. Paul, reads the gospel very clearly. Then we sit down to listen to his homily. Unlike other priests who stay stationary by the podium, Fr. Paul leaves the podium, stays in the front of the altar and faces the congregation. He begins his homily by reminding the congregation of the significance of today – Mission Sunday. Then he approaches the altar to flip a ready-made visual aid that eventually hangs by the edge of the altar, so everybody could see it. The word is MISSION.

He continues to reflect upon the church’s missionary work and says that in his fifty years of missionary life, he realized that there are three important things for missionaries to remember: that they should not think they are bringing faith to the people, that they should not impose the faith on others, and that they should be willing to answer the call in all parts of the world.

Real missionaries, according to Fr. Paul, do not go and bring the faith to people. He believes that people already have the faith in their hearts. Missionaries help people liberate their faith. He spoke about the Chinese people as an example. He says that while they are not Christians, Chinese people have this strong desire to know more about the Christian faith.

Fr. Paul says that missionaries should look up to the example of the Jesus himself – the model Missionary. He explains that Jesus proposed and not imposed the faith. Jesus did not say, “Believe in me or you go to hell!” Instead, Jesus talked about the mercy and love of the Heavenly Father. He talked about a loving, forgiving, and just God. It is up to people to accept this teaching. So, Jesus proposed that a life lived with God is the right path.

When it came to his third point, Fr. Paul flips another visual aid showing the five continents: Europe, China, North America, Africa, and Oceana. Then he brings out his color-coded rosary that matches the colors of his visual aid and explains that the color green represents Africa, red represents North America, white represents Europe, Yellow represents China, and blue represents Oceana.

Throughout Fr. Paul’s homily, the parishioners were visibly actively listening. But the most exciting part of his homily was when he called the four little altar boys and asked them to help him give some gifts to those who could answer his questions. The gifts turned out to be color-coded rosaries. The final question he asked was – who were the women missionaries mentioned in the Bible? Then he went on to identify them saying, “Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Sussana. In short, Mary-Joan-Anna (Marijuana!)!” to the laughter of the congregation!

“Jesus calls all of us to become missionaries,” Fr. Paul said. Then he emphasized the need for missionaries all over the world. He says that in his fifty years of being a priest, he served not only in North America but also in Puerto Rico, Colombia, China, Zambia. He wishes that more young people would respond to the call to become missionaries for the church.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning made more beautiful by this one-of-a-kind missionary.

God, I may have offended thee
Because I've done something unbecoming of Your follower
I wanted some and more and much more of this world
And spent most of my waking hours in this pursuit.

I cannot blame others if they think ill of me
That I do not deserve to serve You in whatever capacity.
But today, even just for today, 
I want to be right with You.

I am deeply sorry for previous indiscretions 
That surely offended others' sense and sensibilities.
But I beg You today to forgive me and give me one more chance
To take that path I've been with You before.

The path that made me grow and thrive
And brought me inner joy and peace
And freedom.

But I'm sorry - I've forgotten.

I've wandered far from this path
And everyday, the world is pulling me further away from it!
Release me from the clutches of the vanity of this world
I want to walk with You once more to that path where You taught me

That contentment in life emanates from You- and You alone
The source of what is true, what is good, and what is beautiful.



 

It was midweek when I got this text message from a friend, “Do you want to watch ’80 for Brady’ this Friday?” Whatever it was, it sounded good to me. With all the domestic, menial tasks at home and the endless paper work, I was ready to relax, so I immediately texted back my yes to the invite.

It was a beautiful but busy Friday for me, and I could not wait for the day to be over. Already, I was anticipating a sumptuous dinner with my two friends at a local restaurant before heading out to the Cinemark for a movie. So, as soon as the final announcement at work was over, I was one of the first to leave my post toward the exit. I usually stay an hour or so after work to ready my room for the following week, but not this time. I am going out to have a blast with Emma and Bella.

Driving hurriedly home, I found my friend Bella waiting for me as I parked on the driveway. I quickly took my stuff in the house before riding with her to meet with Emma, who was waiting for us in the Lotus Cafe. Now complete and hungry, the three of us chose a well-lit corner of the cafe. The waiter came by in a few seconds and handed us the menu. We went for the Friday specials. Emma ordered Hunan Beef with fried rice and cabbage soup, Bella ordered Moo Moo Gai Pan also with fried rice, and I ordered the Hunan Chicken with fried rice and cabbage soup. Fried rice the common denominator!

As we ate, Bella gave us some background information about the movie, “80 for Brady.” The excitement was building up, but we were not in a rush to go since we also wanted to relish the time just talking and eating together. Emma’s children and mine were all gone and on their own, so most of the time we are by ourselves at home. So, this was one of those days we needed some company. After enjoying our meals and taking out the left overs, we did not anymore wait for the server to bring us the bill. We thought it would be faster to pay straight to the cashier. Like some teenagers on a date, we hurried to the car and sped away toward the mall.

The movie was at 7:00 o’clock, and we were there on the dot. After a series of ads, “80 for Brady” came on, and we finally met those four gorgeous, classy women characters. The most charming for me was Lou who put aside her medical appointment to see Brady; Betty, the math professor whose forgetful husband depended on her to proofread his presentation, was hilarious when she joined an eating contest and forgot her money bag. Of course, we all giggled at the flirtatious Trish who was caught by the other women kissing with a guy in the locker room. The most dramatic of all was the slim-fit Maura who drinks the wrong medication and is locked in her room right before their trip to Houston! Seated between Bella and Emma, I glanced at them once in a while and like me, both were grinning throughout the movie. It was indeed a stress-reliever for me.

I did not think about it earlier this week, but that number 80 in the title, had me thinking – “How can women in their 80s still enjoy life?” Perhaps, as we near the age of retirement, we want to know how people live their lives at that age. I know a few precious women in my life who either passed away before reaching 80, bedridden, or just constantly ill and unhappy at that age. What this ’80 for Brady’ obviously taught me was the joy of having company. Perhaps, having women support might make my retirement age more fun, if not exciting.

“Party is postponed for next week,” was the message relayed to us a day before the scheduled affair. The reason was health-related and definitely understandable, but how I must have loved to have been informed way earlier.

It was summer, and we were invited to a post-wedding party in New York. The moment I received the invitation, I asked my sons if they wanted to go to the party. They were ecstatic to punctuate their summer with a visit to the big apple. We all thought it was a one-time opportunity to make memories with family and new friends, so we were willing to give it a try.

Every single day of those ten days leading up to the occasion was spent for preparation. The very day I got the invite, I searched up where the venue was, which hotel we should stay in, which airport is nearest to the hotel, and the like. Aware that airfares are getting higher as August approaches, I was determined to book our flights as soon as possible. So, after hours of flight and hotel searches, I finally booked our flights through American Airlines and our hotel in the Flatiron District of Manhattan. The third day of preparation, my boys and I went looking for our clothes to wear for the party. My younger son who could not find a dress shirt from our local stores asked if we could drive to a neighboring city, so we did. After hours of going around the different outlet stores, he still could not find the shirt he liked, but I was able to buy for myself a sandal and a Michael Kors handbag so our driving some distance did not go to waste. The following day, we went back to the local stores to continue looking for what we would wear. I went to JC Penny to buy a salmon-colored dress, but my sons decided to order their clothes online this time. The next day, I went out again to Marshalls and bought another dress this time a fuchsia-colored one.

The day before we flew to New York City, I went to Dillard’s to buy our wedding gift. I had the store wrapped it, so we did not need to worry about doing it ourselves. They did a good job wrapping our gift with cream-silvery like wrapper and laced ribbons. The problem was that they used a huge box to wrap our present, so it could not fit in a carry on luggage and had to be in check in luggage which entailed fees. Anyhow, by the afternoon of the 9th day of preparation, we were all ready with our attire, our wedding present, our airline tickets, our hotel, and our itinerary.

Our excitement to go to New York grew as each of those preparation days went by. So, we finally arrived in New York – landed in La Guardia, took Uber, and reached our hotel in Manhattan. The party was supposed to be the 5th day of our stay in New York, so we went around places as we waited for that special day. The day before the occasion, we decided to meet with the celebrant at an Asian restaurant near their apartment. While we were eating, she got a message from her sister-in-law, the organizer, that the party is postponed. This was so unexpected, but at that time I heard it, I was okay. I tried to brush it aside and did not even care to say anything. But it was clear that what we came for to NYC will not be realized.

It’s been three weeks since we came home, but I do not know why I could not get over the fiasco experience. And I keep asking myself -was it because of the excitement that was suddenly curtailed? Was it because I spent two weeks of preparation for nothing? Or was it because I spent so much money to be able to come to NYC? Or was it all of the above?

This postponement triggered the silent battle between the yin and the yang in me. The yin keeps insisting that the host family was a bit inconsiderate to their visitors who came from outside the state, but the yang argues that things happen for a reason. Still, I could not stop thinking about how our excitement turned into a sheer memory of “we-could-haves”.

When I opened up to my son why I felt that it seemed unfair that the host would suddenly postpone the party, my son simply said, “Always assume the good in people, mom.”

I could not thank my son enough for those words. It’s very humbling to be taught how to be kind. I was simply thinking about myself and how I was inconvenienced, but I was not thinking about the trouble the host family had to go through in order to care for their sick son. I should always remember to assume good in people.

Every day that we turn our television on, we learn of events that make us angry, gloomy, anxious, and fearful. These events may not directly affect us, but we become participants when we spend our time following through these events and reacting to every single word or action done by the characters in these events. Sometimes, the issues we watch become triggers to heated discussions which lead to unwelcome altercations and personal insults. When we become ‘active participants’ in these issues, we end up feeling more frustrated. So, what is the best way to respond to issues such as the war in Ukraine, the Uvalde shooting, the Roe & Wade, or even the Amber Heard Vs. Johnny Depp case?

I believe that remaining silent is the best response to maintaining our inner peace in the midst of conflicts . Even in cases where the party or idea we are rooting for is winning, we still remain silent because it is simply the proper thing to do. For example, I was with a small group of friends when the Heard Vs. Depp case was being heard and shown on television. These friends were interested in following the case, so they keep tabs when to turn the television on. Every time Ms. Heard came on screen, one of these friends would comment saying, “She is an “absolute liar”. Of Depp, her words become more favorable: “He still looks the handsome guy that he is.” Another friend would add, “I hope he wins the case,” or “He does not seem abusive,” and so on and so forth. I thought that because these friends were married, they would somehow understand that a single party cannot solely be blamed for a problem in the partnership. So, even if the jury declared Depp to be the winner in this case, it does not mean the guilty party is 100 percent wrong. Depp and Heard are two beautiful, talented individuals who once loved each other but could not keep it together for the long haul because of their human flaw – something we all have. When a relationship disintegrates, we feel sorry for the people involved.

Abortion is another issue when we should refrain from blabbering our stand; instead, let our hearts listen. Some of us believe that we should protect life in all its stages and forms regardless of the circumstances when the baby came into being, so we rejoice in the overturn of Roe & Wade. There are those who believe in the same thing but recognize that there should be exceptions such as ectopic pregnancies or pregnancies caused by incest, so they are disappointed that the Supreme Court’s opinion did not give consideration to these exceptions. A majority of people however believe that a woman should have the right to do what she thinks is right for her body. No matter your stand, any issue that deals with life is serious stuff. There is no straight answer to the “to be or not to be” dilemma; therefore, if the decision of the Supreme Court is favorable to you, be glad but do not deride the other side.

If we are to make our side of the issue known, we talk and act in a way that we still respect others even those whose views are different from ours. When discussions of issues become tense or even toxic, a strong person knows silence is the way to go.