Assuming Good in People

“Party is postponed for next week,” was the message relayed to us a day before the scheduled affair. The reason was health-related and definitely understandable, but how I must have loved to have been informed way earlier.

It was summer, and we were invited to a post-wedding party in New York. The moment I received the invitation, I asked my sons if they wanted to go to the party. They were ecstatic to punctuate their summer with a visit to the big apple. We all thought it was a one-time opportunity to make memories with family and new friends, so we were willing to give it a try.

Every single day of those ten days leading up to the occasion was spent for preparation. The very day I got the invite, I searched up where the venue was, which hotel we should stay in, which airport is nearest to the hotel, and the like. Aware that airfares are getting higher as August approaches, I was determined to book our flights as soon as possible. So, after hours of flight and hotel searches, I finally booked our flights through American Airlines and our hotel in the Flatiron District of Manhattan. The third day of preparation, my boys and I went looking for our clothes to wear for the party. My younger son who could not find a dress shirt from our local stores asked if we could drive to a neighboring city, so we did. After hours of going around the different outlet stores, he still could not find the shirt he liked, but I was able to buy for myself a sandal and a Michael Kors handbag so our driving some distance did not go to waste. The following day, we went back to the local stores to continue looking for what we would wear. I went to JC Penny to buy a salmon-colored dress, but my sons decided to order their clothes online this time. The next day, I went out again to Marshalls and bought another dress this time a fuchsia-colored one.

The day before we flew to New York City, I went to Dillard’s to buy our wedding gift. I had the store wrapped it, so we did not need to worry about doing it ourselves. They did a good job wrapping our gift with cream-silvery like wrapper and laced ribbons. The problem was that they used a huge box to wrap our present, so it could not fit in a carry on luggage and had to be in check in luggage which entailed fees. Anyhow, by the afternoon of the 9th day of preparation, we were all ready with our attire, our wedding present, our airline tickets, our hotel, and our itinerary.

Our excitement to go to New York grew as each of those preparation days went by. So, we finally arrived in New York – landed in La Guardia, took Uber, and reached our hotel in Manhattan. The party was supposed to be the 5th day of our stay in New York, so we went around places as we waited for that special day. The day before the occasion, we decided to meet with the celebrant at an Asian restaurant near their apartment. While we were eating, she got a message from her sister-in-law, the organizer, that the party is postponed. This was so unexpected, but at that time I heard it, I was okay. I tried to brush it aside and did not even care to say anything. But it was clear that what we came for to NYC will not be realized.

It’s been three weeks since we came home, but I do not know why I could not get over the fiasco experience. And I keep asking myself -was it because of the excitement that was suddenly curtailed? Was it because I spent two weeks of preparation for nothing? Or was it because I spent so much money to be able to come to NYC? Or was it all of the above?

This postponement triggered the silent battle between the yin and the yang in me. The yin keeps insisting that the host family was a bit inconsiderate to their visitors who came from outside the state, but the yang argues that things happen for a reason. Still, I could not stop thinking about how our excitement turned into a sheer memory of “we-could-haves”.

When I opened up to my son why I felt that it seemed unfair that the host would suddenly postpone the party, my son simply said, “Always assume the good in people, mom.”

I could not thank my son enough for those words. It’s very humbling to be taught how to be kind. I was simply thinking about myself and how I was inconvenienced, but I was not thinking about the trouble the host family had to go through in order to care for their sick son. I should always remember to assume good in people.